Girlfriends and Cheats
by Demonlord5000
Summary: Kyle is extremely annoyed when Stan tries to set him up with a new girl. Meanwhile, Wendy descovers Stan is cheating on her.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Alex; she belongs to Chili Burrito (Formerly TCBN, who changed her name for some reason.) Anyway, She requested this so, here we go…..**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Kyle, dude, you need a girlfriend." Stan told the Jewish boy as they played video games.

"No I don't."

"Don't deny it dude."

"I don't want a girlfriend Stan."

"You say you don't but deep down you do."

"Stan, please don't start talking like him!"

"Who?"

"You know who!"

"Say his name."

"No thank you!"

"Come on Kyle, I think I can set you up with Wendy's cousin."

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"Sure I can, I can just give her a call-."

"Dude, First of all, Wendy's cousin is annoying, second, SHE'S FIVE YEARS OLD!"

"And your two year old brother banged a thirty something year old teacher." Kyle dropped his controller and walked out the door.

"DUDE COME ON!" Stan's phone started ringing. He sighed and answered it. "What Wendy?"

"Hi stan, I called to see what you were doing."

"For literally the tenth time in thirty minutes?"

"So what are you up to?" She asked, ignoring what he said.

"Nothing."

"So…. You're not hanging out with other girls?"

"For the 50th time NO!"

"Good, maybe we can go on a date tonight."

"We went on a date every night this week! I'm nearly out of money!"

"So?"

"I don't get my allowance till next week! And I'm still pissed at you after what you did to that girl last night!" Stan snapped.

"That girl was trying to steal you from me!"

"It was Kenny's little sister, and she was trying to sell me Girl Scout cookies!"

"That's what she wanted you to think."

"You can't just attack a little girl like that! She's in surgery now! Which I'm paying for since Kenny's family is poor!"

"Hey, I stopped hitting her."

"Yeah, when a police officer came by and shot you with a stun gun!"

"It still fucking hurts." He heard her murmur over the line. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look, Wendy, can't you just hang out with Bebe or something?"

"Fine." She grumbled.

"Thank you." He said as he hung up. He sighed and walked out the door. He had gotten halfway down the street when something caught his eye. A previously empty house had a moving van settled in front. Stan moved closer and spotted a young girl about his age. She had waist length red hair, a yellow coat, blue snow pants, and blue gloves. Stan moved up behind her.

"Hi."

"AAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!" The girl's shriek nearly deafened him. She jumped a few feet in the air before turning to him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" Stan said as he tried to get the ringing out of his ears.

"That's OK, accidents happen." The girl said, breathing heavily from the scare.

"So, you new in South Park?"

"Yeah, I just moved here with my mom. My name's Alex."

"I'm Stan. So Alex, have you met anyone else here?"

"No, just you. But I did see a boy in an orange coat and green ushanka walk by. He didn't really notice me, and he seemed aggravated about something."

"You saw Kyle?"

"Is that his name? Well, he was pretty cute, but I don't think he'd date a girl like me." Stan grinned.

"Well, It's your lucky day Alex, it just so happens Kyle and I are best friends, I might be able to set you up."

"Really!?" She said with a smile. "Thank you!"

"Here, give me your phone and I'll put my number in." She handed him the phone. He added himself to her contacts before handing it back. He bid her goodbye then headed to the library. He picked out a book and had barely started reading when his phone rang.

"Wendy, what now?" He asked in annoyance.

"Red says she saw you hanging out with some new girl!"

"I'm trying to set her up with Kyle!" He snapped.

"Ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The librarian shushed. Stan just flipped her off.

"You better be telling the truth!" Wendy snapped, before hanging up.

"God dammit." Stan sighed as he tried to read. But he was so annoyed that he eventually just put the book back. He started walking down the row of books at a fast pace. He was only stopped when he accidently knocked down a girl with an arm full of books, causing her to drop them.

"Oh god I'm so sorry!" Stan hurriedly apologized as he helped the girl to her feet.

"It's OK." She sighed. Stan helped her pick up her books. It was only when he handed her the books that he realized who the girl was.

"Aren't you… Rebecca Cotswolds?"

"Who are you again?" Rebecca snapped.

"I'm Stan, Kyle's best friend." Rebecca's expression softened.

"Oh, I remember you now, you're the cute one." Stan gawked at her.

"Cute one?"

"Yeah, at least in my opinion." She looked at her watch. "And now I'm late for my book club."

"Sorry, let me make it up to you. How about I take you out for pizza tomorrow?"

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"It's just as friends."

"Well, alright, I'll come by your house tomorrow at lunch." She said as she turned and walked away. Stan stood there for a moment, then left the library and went to Kyle's house. He knocked on the door and Kyle answered.

"Dude, can I borrow some money?"

"What for!?"

"That's my business. Come on dude!"

"I'll give you money if you swear you'll stop trying to get me a girlfriend."

"Fine, I swear I'll stop trying to get you a girlfriend." Kyle handed him the money and shut the door, not noticing Stan had his fingers crossed…..


	2. Chapter 2

"So what's it like to be home schooled?" Stan asked, taking a bite of pizza.

"Well, my parents teach me a lot of things, but it just gets boring after a while." Rebecca answered.

"It may be your parents that are boring you."

"That and the fact that I have no friends to hang out with."

"I'm your friend Rebecca." Stan said defensively. Rebecca smiled.

"Thanks Stan, it makes me happy to hear that." Her phone beeped. She looked at it and groaned. "Mark's been taped to a bench again."

"Oh, OK." Stan paid for the pizza and walked outside with Rebecca. "Man, your brother sucks."

"Well, that's true. He can't even get a girl to have sex with him. Then again, what 10 year old would have sex?" Stan calmly raised his hand. Rebecca stared at him. "Who'd you have sex with?"

"Karen McCormick." Kenny, who had been crossing the street, froze and turned to Stan with rage. "Watch out for that semi Kenny!" Stan called without even looking at the boy. Before Kenny could register what he said, he was rammed by a semi, leaving him a puddle of blood and guts. "Oh my god they killed Kenny." Stan said in a bored tone.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…" At that moment Kyle ran up, panting and out of breath.

"Y-you bastards!" He panted, before falling to the ground and passing out from exhaustion.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Stan had bid Rebecca goodbye, and had just made it to the front of his house when his phone rang. He groaned.

"What Wendy!?"

"Red says she saw you with that slut!"

"Rebecca is not a slut Wendy! And we were just having pizza as friends!" He said before hanging up. His phone rang again seconds later.

"What now!?" He snapped.

"Red also says she overheard you saying you had sex with Karen McCormick!" Stan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, when we were broken up!" He said before hanging up. His phone rang once more. "GODDAMMIT Wendy STOP CALLING ME!" He shouted into the phone.

"Who's Wendy?" Alex asked over the phone. Stan's face went red with embarrassment.

"S-sorry Alex, I thought you were my annoying girlfriend."

"That's alright. Can you come over to my house real quick?"

"Sure, I just need to make a quick stop." He hung up and grabbed a baseball bat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stan knocked on the door, and then held the bat over his head. The girl answered the door.

"Stop telling Wendy about what I'm doing!" He shouted before bringing the bat down on Red's skull. A sickening crack was heard as she fell to the ground. Stan dropped the bat then left.


End file.
